Sometimes I wonder what I’m doing and if it was the right decision to leave Seattle and Samarya. Then I realize that’s the wrong question. The question might be, Is it the right decision to be here, now?
My answer comes when, after traveling for two weeks, the kids are waiting for me practically at the highway coming from the airport saying, “We waited for you all day!” When the folks in my morning mindfulness group share intimately about their own lives and experience of isolation, when my neighbor sends me a message in the morning asking if i’m awake so she can stop by to chat about life and love before work, when I end my workday with an epic swim under a foreboding sky, when kids come to meet me at the beach saying “Today is a great day because we got haircuts, you’re here and tomorrow we get fed at school” and I get to run home with them in a torrential downpour and cook them pasta and brownies and cuddle on the couch, when they hug me once as they are leaving, and then turn back to me, arms outstretched and say, “One more for the road?”, when my yoga group writes enthusiastically in the morning- “We’re practicing tonight, right?”
Sometimes just changing the question can bring us to a deeply satisfying answer. I do believe we are divinely directed, and God has steered me here, now. Was it the right decision to leave Seattle? I don’t know. Is it the right thing to be exactly where I am doing exactly what I’m doing? The answer feels like a resounding yes.